Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8). The mind however has the tendency of drifting its focus to other areas. We should know that the freewill God has given to us enables us to ponder not only on good things, but on bad things also.
There comes a time in marriage or in a relationship when bad thoughts and suspicions about the other partner arises. Some couples even get angered by such suspicions or negative thoughts and even start fights based on them. The negative thoughts could also be some past offences by the other spouse which may have even been fully settled.
We should realise that it is not everything which comes into our mind which is worth doing. Eve got the idea to eat the fruit from the devil. When she carried it out, it had a lot of bad consequences.
If we learn to win the psychological battles in our marriages and relationships, a lot of arguments, quarrels and bitter fights would be avoided.
Hence any thought which falls out of the list in Phil. 4:8 about our spouses should not be encouraged. Any thought which generates intense hatred in us for our loved ones should be avoided, because the Bible admonishes us to love one another. Psychological battles should be fought and won in the mind, and not allowed to ruin our relationships.