Relationships & Marriage


Love is the element which drives one to lay the entirety of his or her resources and a totality of his or her being at the disposal of another in a sacrificial manner, with the aim of bettering the lot of the other. It inconveniences itself for the convenience of another. Bearing this definition in mind, it presupposes that showing love to ones spouse in marriage goes far beyond just romance. It rather incorporates the totality of each spouses endowments.

The best example of love can be derived from the love which Jesus Christ showed mankind by sacrificing all that He had for mankind. He gave His body to be crucified, made us co-heirs in His Kingdom and sons and daughters of God, sent us the Holy Spirit and still intercedes for us. He shared everything He had with us because He loved us. Eph. 5:25 states husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (KJV). Hence marriage should be seen as a companionship in which each spouse lays all that he or she has continually at the disposal of the other. Romance in marriage is just the means by which married couples share their bodies with each other. Hence marriages based solely on romance die as the couple age and the physical features they had starts to wear off. This should definitely not be the case.


Many courting couples tend to nurture romance, but not love in their courtship forgetting that romance is just one aspect of a lifetime companionship. It is therefore a necessity for courting couples to abstain from sexual contact and use that period to learn how to effectively share other aspects of their lives with each other. A relationship solely based on romance is often short-lived and dies as soon as the romance dies. Also, the couples are often misled to think that since they are so romantically attracted to each other, they are highly compatible. But when they marry and move in together, other aspects of their lives are brought into the picture and they realize their inability to share those aspects of their lives together. Marriage is a companionship which engulfs around every aspect of ones life and personality.

Married couples who are seeing a decline in the spark in their marriage should take a review of their lives and identify areas in their lives which they do not share with their spouse and bridge-up with them in those areas. This would create a sense of renewal. Courting couples should also ensure their ability to stay together in deep love aside all the romance. When all these are ensured, the perpetuality of marriages would be ensured.        


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